Day 216: Breaking the cycle

Today’s inane image of the day:

I always tell myself that I’m going to cut back on the Starbucks… and what better time than Spring Break? Well… then the problem of productivity arises and I end up sipping my favorite coffee beverage over my lecture notes. 

By the winter of each academic year, I find myself losing my motivation to be in school. When November rolls around, I just want to make it to break so I can replace academia with [fun] reading, catching up with old friends and quiet time to myself. Yet, midway through winter break, I am antsy to get back into the grind of school; I start to feel the excitement of starting a new semester of material, places and faces. Once classes start up, the feeling quickly wears off along with the treads of my shoes as I trudge through the snow to class. Novelty morphs into mundane and by February, the cycle starts all over again.

Throughout college, I was under the impression that medical school would break this cycle. I thought that by making it to this point, I would love learning about everything and thus the motivation to study would never be an issue. Surely, medical school would be different!

Well, I wasn’t entirely wrong — instead of breaking the cycle, I seem to be settling into a new one. I didn’t lose my motivation last November, despite my difficulty with exams [sort of]. My drive to keep studying even stuck around through most of January. But somewhere between then and now… it dissipated. I suspect that the stress of Neuroscience never had a chance to resolve because we took our final then dived right into our Cardiovascular block. Either way, ruminating over why I feel this way doesn’t really help me with the issue at hand now: I am tired and unmotivated.

My spring break has been filled with a lot of sleep and minimal studying, yet the thought of returning to school on Monday for the home stretch really frightens me. I am well-aware of the fact that the rest of my life will be filled with work — this is medicine! But everything following M1/M2 is a different kind of work. Instead of reading about the cases, I’ll see them. Instead of spending endless hours at Starbucks, I’ll be at the hospital [heh, except there’s a Starbucks in the hospital so I may still spend endless hours at Starbucks]. I am excited for clerkships… but a lot of books, lecture notes, exams and the Boards stand in the way [with good reason, of course].

Regardless, I know I’ll conjure up the motivation to get through this, but I think it’s important to document these moments to look back upon someday.

Do you have a cycle? Have you found a way to break free from it?

[Happy Match Day!]

4 thoughts on “Day 216: Breaking the cycle

  • March 17, 2012 at 1:31 am
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    Wake up, survive the day, go to sleep, repeat.

  • March 18, 2012 at 3:25 am
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    I have literally the same cycle… I’ve even been thinking about it a ton lately because everyday I look at my phone and figure out how many days of class I have left until the summer, making it drag on for an eternity. It is fantastic

  • March 19, 2012 at 9:30 pm
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    is lecture required at OU everyday or just certain lectures?

  • March 19, 2012 at 9:38 pm
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    @Jordan: Except you’re going to break into a new cycle come the fall when you start med school!

    @Tommy: Look on the bright side — you guys start summer weeks if not over a month before we do [and we start up before you guys, too]! Savor your long summers! =)

    @Anon: [From the FAQs page] Attendance is only mandatory when we have an assessment, lab, group activity, or a guest speaker. For some classes such as Capstone or Medical Humanities, there is a sign-in for attendance because those classes are based around guest lecturers and group discussion. All lectures are recorded [with the exception of Patient Panels] unless the recording equipment fails. Check out the FAQs page [http://www.amandaxi.com/p/ouwb-faqs.html] for more about OUWB!

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