Today’s inane image of the day:
|For anyone who was curious what Mike picked out for me in this entry, here it is! [I’m obsessed with hearts… if you know me in real life, you probably noticed that I always have some kind of heart-shaped jewelry on]|
Males be warned: this entry may be a particularly sappy/feminine one [it is, after all, about my relationship].
I’ve hinted here and there that my long distance relationship with Mike has been, and currently is, extremely difficult. Anyone who has been in a relationship can understand why — Facetime, phone calls and text messages can only get you so far. In the end, we naturally yearn for meaningful, enjoyable, physical company. When you find that the person you’ve invested your heart and soul in has decided to leave for an indefinite number of years to a place 2,000+ miles away… well, it puts a lot of strain on the relationship.
I have been putting forth my best effort and most optimistic, positive thoughts toward the situation: medical school is difficult, and if Mike was around, he could be distracting; absence makes the heart grow fonder; he promised to return to where ever I am when he’s done with his PhD. But regardless of what I try to tell myself each day, the last almost-three months have been excruciatingly hard. Not only have I had to adjust to medical school [and boy, has that been a serious transition!], but I am also adjusting to my best [girl] friend moving away, to more time on the road, to a new life. Yank my pillar of support away, and you are left with one extremely stressed and sometimes unhappy me.
This begs the question, did Mike even have a choice in the matter? Well, yes, he did. In all fairness, he had to make his decision prior to my where I knew what I was going [at that point, I believe I was on OUWB’s waitlist and still waiting on 3 other decisions]. And I did encourage him to decide based on what would be best for his career [i.e. take me out of the equation]. But… I still secretly hoped he would decide to stay nearby. Even though I knew that he enjoyed the research [and weather] more over there, I still selfishly wanted him to put me back into the equation and choose Michigan over where he is now.
When Mike was making his decision, he actually asked for advice from one of his professors/mentors. She had gone through a similar situation with her husband — he went to medical school in a different state from her graduate school. After Mike explained the decision he had to make, she told him that long distance works for this particular situation. She thought it was better this way.
Well, I have been trying really hard to see this logic. And I can’t. Maybe it’s too soon to speak retrospectively. After all, you cannot make connections looking forward, or even in the present; you can only connect the dots looking retrospectively [paraphrased advice from Dean Folberg].
[Note: This entry was purely for my benefit — I wanted to organize my thoughts and this is how I decided to do it — maybe someone out there can feel like they aren’t battling this alone.]
Today’s medical school fact of the day: “A virus is an obligate intracellular parasite that can either contain DNA or RNA, but not both.” – Dr. Harriott’s Virology lecture notes