Month: June 2023

How I learned to say “no”

Amanda Xi

Today’s inane image of the day:

I have been part of planning the American Medical Women’s Association [AMWA] meeting for almost a decade now. Although I’m striking a glamorous pose, take note of how not glamorous this room looks [it’s just a handful of us that unpack pallets of boxes, set up technology, and make the program run…]. This organization is one that I’ve said “yes” to for many years… but only more recently learned how “no” could make a huge difference in my enthusiasm for the work.

At heart, I am a selfless, people-pleaser that would rather suffer in silence than let others down. When I feel like I’ve let someone down, it crushes my soul. This leads me to tumble down the rabbit hole of saying “yes” to things. At work, this often translates into non-promotable assignments [aside: did you know that women are 48% more likely to to volunteer for non-promotable work and even when we learn to say no, we are disproportionately assigned to these types of tasks?]. In medicine, it’s often exceptionally difficult to tease out which tasks are “non-promotable work” and which ones will have indirect benefits through gaining knowledge, learning a new skill, or valuable connections that could lead to career advancement in the future.

Throughout medical training, we are conditioned to be generous with volunteering our time for research projects, organizations, and anything that might help get us to that next step. Understandably, when training is finally done, some of us are left wondering… now what? Especially in an academic environment, it seems like everyone has a million projects they’re working on and those who have “made it” to professorship/leadership were the ones that hustled the most [i.e. said “yes” to everything].

But is that approach sustainable? And most importantly, is that the approach you should take?

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That time I almost quit my job

Amanda Xi

Today’s inane image of the day:

From my Memorial Day weekend in Austin, TX. Peace out seemed like an appropriate photo for the entry title, no?

Oh, hi!

It has been a while since I updated here [woah, almost a year?!]. I kept telling myself it was time to write something or record something but the passion just hasn’t been there. A couple weeks back, I actually recorded a video, but I wasn’t excited to edit it. Either way, I’ve wanted to explore writing regularly again as a way to stay true to myself and practice articulating things that are important to me. Someday, I’d love to write a book [yup, I’m writing it here so that all two of you reading this entry can hold me accountable].

Anyway, for my first entry of 2023, I thought I’d start with a big one.

For those of you who follow along on YouTube or my social media channels, I’ve been very open about the fact that I enjoy my job. Sure, I can come up with reasons to hate it, but there is no such thing as the perfect job/career/anything. In general, I think I’m the type of person who would try to see the best in any job I’m in, or figure out how to make the most of it. But there was actually a time after I finished fellowship when I wondered if my current job was the right fit.

I actually went as far as reaching out to someone I knew in a private practice group to ask if they would hire me[!].

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