Day 8: 2.5 years in (another long distance relationship update)

Today’s inane image of the day:

From my trip to San Fran – we made a pitstop in Malibu to visit one of Mike’s friends who was camping on the beach.

Today, we are 2.5 years into our relationship. Over 1 year of it has been on almost-opposite ends of the country. Sadly, it is likely that we will be permanently reunited only after we’ve spent more time separated by 1000s of miles than together.

Things have not necessarily gotten easier with time [whoever said time heals all, lied] – in fact, I’d argue that it has gotten harder as I move forward with medical school. Although I have arrived at a relatively comfortable point of treading the enormous volume of material, I cannot help but feel apprehensive about Step 1. I do not feel like I adequately learned the basic sciences last year, nor do I feel comfortable identifying a lesion in the spinal cord when given the results of a neurological examination. Although these fears cannot be erased by having Mike around, he could at least help keep them at bay.

But I guess we all yearn for the things we cannot have. Admittedly, I should be grateful for the endless hours he spends with me over FaceTime, merely watching me stare at textbooks or listening to me talk to myself about the pathophysiology of this, or that. I should be happy that I have someone so supportive and stubborn. I should feel lucky that he can visit on such a regular basis.

I recognize that I definitely have a pretty optimal LDR situation, but I cannot help but feel pangs of jealousy when I see my happily married peers at social events or hear about regular weekend visits from significant others in places only a couple hours away. Through my eyes, everyone else has a more optimal situation – however, I know that this isn’t necessarily true. I just have to keep reminding myself that appearances are not always representative of the truth.

My frustration comes in waves – most of the time I keep myself so busy that there isn’t enough time to let the negative feelings surface – but, sometimes they escape and morph into a fight. Mike is so accustomed to them now that he just seems to ride out the storm until the sun rises again. I really try not to let my emotions get the best of me, however, by the end of the week, I am sleep-deprived and stressed, which tends to turn me into a blubbering ball of anger and tears. Usually, if sleep it off, everything is better the next day.

We still have something like four years of long distance to go – hopefully it will all work out in the end.

3 thoughts on “Day 8: 2.5 years in (another long distance relationship update)

  • August 24, 2012 at 8:14 pm

    Amanda, I know exactly how you feeling and what you are saying. My girlfriend moved to Denver for Medical school too and I was left in Miami. It’s easy for us to want that person close to us and some times we don’t that luxury. I have done just like your boyfriend has done, we have gotten on Skype while she’s studying and I am there either working on something or what not. Other times I try my best to help her as much as possible. We were boy in girl now we are engage to be married at the end of this year. hang in there you’ll notice how time flies. I kept my self busy while she was away so that I wouldn’t feel that she wasn’t next to me. I think I should have you as a guest post on my blog. we started this Blog as soon as she left to go to Denver. She’s back in Florida now doing her clinical. Just keep at it and it will worth it all in the end.

  • August 25, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    Thank you for your comment. I’m happy to hear that you two have been reunited – hopefully things will work out for us, too.

  • August 31, 2012 at 1:58 am

    Hey Amanda. I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this. With all the pressures med school already brings, I know long-distance cannot be easy. I don’t have any advice/personal story to share, but just letting you know my well wishes are with you. Yall made it this far, I’m sure you’ll make it through =)

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