Today’s inane image of the day:
I keep telling myself I will get back into blogging regularly but the words don’t flow the way they used to. The further along in my career I get [and the older I get], the more it seems “risky” to pour my heart and soul out to the internet. Yet, it feels like there is a part of me I am not honoring by being silent. There is also something to be said about the loss of connection to those of you still reading my updates with anticipation and excitement [I appreciate you – I know you’re out there and support my writing endeavors].
This is by no means a declaration of more consistent writing in 2024, but a reflection that this space is an important one that I want to integrate into my life in a more consistent manner again.
A couple years ago in an effort to reflect upon a relationship ending, I started journaling on a regular basis. I’ve actually kept a journal/blog for most of my life, but consistency was never my strong suit. Or perhaps I should say frequency was never my strong suit since I consistently went back to it. Either way, a couple years ago, I picked up journaling and it stuck. As a result, I have my own written words/emotions/thoughts/feelings to reflect upon on an annual basis. As we near the end of 2023, I figured I’d share some the reflections I had from 2023.
My greatest achievement was strengthening relationships with family/friends.
I encounter incredibly sad patient stories in the operating room and intensive care unit. I cannot even imagine what the patient and their families are struggling with. I do my best to help my patients, then I take these encounters as reminders of how precious life is. With every passing year, I am reminded that my parents are getting older and there will be a finite number of moments we will get to spend together. In 2023, I prioritized traveling home more frequently and catching up over the phone with my family. I plan to continue to prioritize spending time with them in 2024.
During my last major relationship, I maintained my friendships, but in a superficial way. I didn’t recognize this at the time, but it became evident when I was on my own that I felt far away from my friends. I didn’t feel like I had a network of people I could call upon while I was down. I didn’t feel like my friends knew who I was. I felt alone. In the last couple of years, but especially in 2023, I did the work of opening up, making new friends, and reconnecting deeply with old friends. I used to be shy about reaching out, but I’ve gotten much better. I used to staunchly believe that when I called upon a friend, I was a burden in some way. One of my friends turned this on me and asked how I felt when someone asked me for help or to work through an issue; we all want to feel wanted and by turning to my loved ones for help, it strengthens that relationship further.
Traveling fills up my cup [I need to do more of it].
2023 Travel
January – Sedona/Phoenix
February – Chicago, Nashville
March – Orlando, Philadelphia, Home (metro-Detroit)
April – Home (metro-Detroit)
May – Chicago, Providence, Austin
June – Washington DC
July – Boston
August – Home (metro-Detroit), Chicago
September – London
October – Chicago, Western Massachusetts
November – Home (metro-Detroit)
December – Boston
When I started listing out each of the places I went in 2023, I realized I did more travel than I initially thought. Scrolling through the photos from each of these trips reminds me of the excitement, joy, and wanderlust experienced. I did not travel as much as I wanted to when I was younger. I want to prioritize these opportunities to experience new places/things/cultures, etc. And all the food. I love food and each of these trips was marked by being able to enjoy incredible presentations, innovative flavors, and the ability to have these things in my life. Here’s to more travel in 2024.
Setting work boundaries makes work more efficient.
2023 marked the first time I used an automatic reply for my emails. This was my first attempt at setting boundaries at work while on vacation or away. It turns out that people are more than willing to direct their emails to others or even not send the email at all until my anticipated return. While I was away, I admittedly checked my email on a semi-regular basis, but I didn’t reply. When I got back, it took several hours to finally catch up, but I noticed that I was able to respond in a clear, concise manner more efficiently. Suddenly it dawned on me that if I let my brain recharge outside of work that when I got back, it was so much easier to actually do the work.
I’m slowly also setting work boundaries on weekends. Evenings are a bit tough [since many administrative meetings occur in the evening due to clinical schedules], but I’ve gotten better at blocking off evenings when I know I have plans. I don’t have to be on every single meeting [!!!].
Modern/online dating is a rollercoaster.
To round out this entry, I thought I’d dip my toes into this topic. Those of you who know me offline have heard all the ups and downs of my modern dating adventure. A fun statistic is that I literally have been on 50+ first dates in 2023. The vast majority of them have not led to second dates, but I still generally take something away from each date.
Although I have a relatively positive view of dating, I’ve also fallen prey to wondering: “What is wrong with me?” “Will I ever find a partner?” and then sometimes, “Maybe I should come to terms with the idea that a love story may not be in the cards for me?” When thoughts like this cross my mind, I have to remind myself that my life is fulfilling as is. And I think to the real challenges my married and divorced friends are facing; single life is simpler.
Interestingly, I’ve experienced online dating over the course of a decade and in two very different areas [metro-Detroit and Boston]. Online dating has changed over the years; a decade ago, first dates were planned relatively quickly. Now, I find that < 1% of my matches have led to a first date. I posit that there are less-intentional people with profiles on the dating sites now compared to a decade ago. You might wonder if there were more intentional people in metro-Detroit compared to Boston, but I’d say that when I first moved from metro-Detroit to Boston it was a lot easier to turn an online match into a real-life date compared to now [my first week living in Boston, I had a date lined up every evening; gone are those days]. Perhaps my troubles are due to my older age now.
The number of first dates I’ve gone on includes a couple of speed dating events. I find these events to be fun and have also gone on a few second dates after meeting through speed dating. One of the great things about meeting someone in real life is having all of the physical cues present to gauge interest.
Anyway, all of this to say, modern dating has certainly been a rollercoaster ride for me in 2023. I’ve been disappointed by disrespectful behavior and let down by dates that I thought held promise. I’ve been excited by prospects and had my faith in humanity restored when I’ve met kind-hearted, incredible people that will make for great partners to someone someday. I’ve learned a lot along the way about that matters to me and what doesn’t; I anticipate 2024 will bring more lessons on the subject.
On to 2024
I do not typically set new year’s resolutions, but I am interested in setting intentions. Maybe more to come on a future entry on my 2024 intentions. But for now, I hope as the year comes to a close you will also have the opportunity to reflect upon 2023. I’ll see you in the new year.