Today’s inane image of the day:
When I started residency, I fully intended on joining a private practice group. But my residency and fellowship @mghanesthesia ended up changing my trajectory. Here are some reasons I stayed in academia:
Read moreattending life
You were insufferable
Today’s inane image of the day:
I was recently reflecting on who I was during internship, residency, and fellowship. You might be wondering, “What does that even mean?”
There was a period in my life where I staunchly believed that people do not change. You are fundamentally who you are. There then came an era where I was less sure of this assertion. I started to waver in my belief as I watched my parents evolve. I noticed that my friends showed up in different ways over the years and during life events. I reflected on my own journey and who I was. I wondered if, maybe, people could change.
I’ve now come back full circle in my belief that people have a fundamental foundation… but the way that it is presented and shows up changes with the situation.
Read moreEvery moment of the day need *not* be productive
Today’s inane image of the day:
I spent the majority of my life feeling the pressure to “hustle.” That productivity was equated with my worth. If I wasn’t productive, then what purpose do I serve?
Read more8 days in the ICU
Today’s inane image of the day:
You still work that many days?
I’ve been asked whether my schedule is more “humane” or “manageable” now that I’m an attending. The answer is a resounding “yes!”… but, I still have blocks of long weeks. The work never stops being challenging for one reason or another. There are certainly still weeks when I am scheduled to work 70 hours. Yet even with this assignment, the work still feels so much better than when I was in training. Long weeks as a trainee felt exhausting because there was always something new to learn. Long weeks as a first-year attending also felt exhausting for the same reason. Now that I’m a few years out, I feel more at ease, confident in my clinical skills, and able to appreciate how incredible the work I get to do is.
Read moreHow I learned to say “no”
Today’s inane image of the day:
At heart, I am a selfless, people-pleaser that would rather suffer in silence than let others down. When I feel like I’ve let someone down, it crushes my soul. This leads me to tumble down the rabbit hole of saying “yes” to things. At work, this often translates into non-promotable assignments [aside: did you know that women are 48% more likely to to volunteer for non-promotable work and even when we learn to say no, we are disproportionately assigned to these types of tasks?]. In medicine, it’s often exceptionally difficult to tease out which tasks are “non-promotable work” and which ones will have indirect benefits through gaining knowledge, learning a new skill, or valuable connections that could lead to career advancement in the future.
Throughout medical training, we are conditioned to be generous with volunteering our time for research projects, organizations, and anything that might help get us to that next step. Understandably, when training is finally done, some of us are left wondering… now what? Especially in an academic environment, it seems like everyone has a million projects they’re working on and those who have “made it” to professorship/leadership were the ones that hustled the most [i.e. said “yes” to everything].
But is that approach sustainable? And most importantly, is that the approach you should take?
Read moreThat time I almost quit my job
Today’s inane image of the day:
Oh, hi!
It has been a while since I updated here [woah, almost a year?!]. I kept telling myself it was time to write something or record something but the passion just hasn’t been there. A couple weeks back, I actually recorded a video, but I wasn’t excited to edit it. Either way, I’ve wanted to explore writing regularly again as a way to stay true to myself and practice articulating things that are important to me. Someday, I’d love to write a book [yup, I’m writing it here so that all two of you reading this entry can hold me accountable].
Anyway, for my first entry of 2023, I thought I’d start with a big one.
For those of you who follow along on YouTube or my social media channels, I’ve been very open about the fact that I enjoy my job. Sure, I can come up with reasons to hate it, but there is no such thing as the perfect job/career/anything. In general, I think I’m the type of person who would try to see the best in any job I’m in, or figure out how to make the most of it. But there was actually a time after I finished fellowship when I wondered if my current job was the right fit.
I actually went as far as reaching out to someone I knew in a private practice group to ask if they would hire me[!].
Read moreMD/DO anesthesiologist vs. CRNA vs. CAA
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All three jobs provide anesthesia, so what’s the difference?
While true that an anesthesiologist, CRNA [certified registered nurse anesthetist], and CAA [certified anesthesiologist assistant – generally shortened to AA, which is the designation I will use for this entry] all provide anesthesia to patients, the pathways to get to each profession and the actual practice are different. I think all three paths can definitely provide a fulfilling career and should all be considered for anyone that might have an early interest in the practice of anesthesia.
I want to note that I did not know I’d be pursuing anesthesia when I entered medical school, so I didn’t consider the CRNA/AA route. I did briefly consider PA school as a backup plan to MD/DO if I didn’t get in, but I didn’t need to go down that path. Anyway, let’s dive in.
Read moreNIGHT SHIFT | A glimpse into a night shift as an ICU doctor
Today’s inane image of the day:
Introduction
Night shift is a different beast altogether. My shifts are 14 hours long – technically I’m on service from 1700 – 0700, but there is a lot of preparation that goes into this shift. I spend hours prior to going into the hospital looking over my patients and sometimes pre-writing my notes in order to get a good understanding of what happened during the course of the patient’s ICU stay. Maybe it’s because I’m a new attending, but I also feel like if I get to know my patients better, they receive better care.
Anyway, in my video, I go over some of my strong feelings surrounding how tough working night shifts can be on the body as well as take you with me on a shift for you to get a glimpse into what a night shift in the ICU looks like for an attending.
Keep reading if you want to see an hourly breakdown of what my night shift schedule looks like.
Read moreWhat’s in my backpack!? [you’ll NEVER guess the last item I reveal 🤔]
Today’s inane image/video of the day:
Introduction
Inspired by all of the videos that delve into what’s in people’s purses or bags or backpacks, I thought I’d share with you what is in my daily backpack! I have a problem with wanting to have everything with me at all times [and yet, still find that I’m always missing something useful, e.g. I just figured out I don’t have acetaminophen readily available in my little medication bag], so I end up carrying a massive north face backpack [reminder to fellow healthcare workers – the 50% North Face coupon expires at the end of the calendar year; I’ve already used mine once and am considering buying this new backpack with the discount…] with me to work every day.
I had to do some digging to find the blog post, but I confirmed that I’ve had this backpack since 2012! Wow, it’s crazy to read an entry from so long ago…
Read moreA day in the life of an intensivist (ICU doctor)
Today’s inane image/video of the day:
Introduction
As a premedical and medical student, I always wondered what an attending’s schedule the really looked like. Individuals that embark on this journey to becoming a physician are often reminded at each stage that “it gets better.” When I was a medical student starting on rotations, I frequently wondered when I would have an opportunity to really influence patient care. As an intern, I felt like I was making a difference in patient care, but lacked the experience and knowledge base to feel confident in my decisions. There were numerous moments of self-doubt when I started the anesthesiology part of my residency; after all, most medical students do not get real exposure to the complexities surrounding anesthetic care of a surgical patient.
Anyway, I digress. Long story short, at every stage of training, I wondered what the next one would look like and feel like. Now that I’m finally an attending, I can share my schedule and overall experience as an intensivist with all of you! Look out for a separate video/blog post on the anesthesiologist part of my job.
Super-detailed schedule breakdown
If you’re curious about an hourly look at my schedule, here’s an overview [in military time]:
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